Saturday, November 04, 2006

Start Smoking, Outside

Detroit has not yet banned smoking indoors. If we were really hip to what's hot, we would all look at New York and LA. We would all stop smoking inside, and take it outside. What's the big deal really? Let's break this down, bit by bit.

You Don't Look Cool.
Let's face it. Smoking is not something that makes you look cool. It might be representative of some other quality (and no, I'm not implying anything). But, it certainly has no bearing on your "hip" factor. I'm not saying that it might not look sexy. I'm not saying that it might not look confident or laid back. I'm simply saying that a cigarette does not make you look cool. But a nice lighter or a cigarette case is another matter all together...

You're Adding to my Laundry.
I don't care if your breath stinks after a smoke. That can be cured without trouble. But the only way the smell is coming out of my jeans or jacket is by soap and water. Congratulations on making everyone have to do extra laundry.

I'm Not Shy, But You're Stuck Up.
Let's face it. Most women in Detroit are stuck up. Or rather, they always have a shield up. Tonight when I go out, I'm going to approach a handful of women. I'll simply say "Hi, how are you this evening?" The majority will answer, but will fail to return the question my way. The main reason is that the majority of women (not all) simply assume that everyone approaching wants to sleep with them. They see no other reason why a man would want to talk to them. The idea of someone just looking for a conversation is completely absurd. Enter the cigarette. When forced to go outside to smoke, especially on a chilly evening, one finds themselves in the company of other "singles." They're singles in the sense that they are alone, not that they are without a relationship. Their party is currently inside drinking and talking, and they are outside by their lonesome. When "singles" get together, conversation for conversation's sake is not only accepted, but welcomed (especially if it's a cold evening). It starts and ends outside the doors. Opening line? "Can I get a light?" Pick up line material? Inside, yes. Outside, no.

Deep Breath
Don't you just love the clean, fresh, open air of the outdoors? Isn't there something relaxing about taking a deep breath and feeling the cool air fill your lungs? The air in a bar or club is nowhere near as clean as the great outdoors, but we can at least strive to make it cleaner. Do everyone a favor and stop indoor pollution.

There is no rule that says you have to go outside to smoke. And Vinotecca (Royal Oak) is the only place I can think of off the top of my head that has a no smoking policy. Instead of waiting for legislation to pass, let's start a movement for the legislature. It's not about your rights. No one is asking you to give up the right to smoke. We're merely asking that you consider the rights of others. There's nothing wrong with being selfish. But there is something to be said for being hip enough to go above and beyond the general courtesy of saying "Excuse me" when you're pushing your way towards the bar.